The Myth of Purpose

Start with why.

Lead a purpose-driven life.

You have probably heard these two statements and many other related submissions imploring one to find the anchor to build one’s life or company or product around.

The search for purpose has triggered an entire generation to amplify the already endemic apathy towards that one thing everyone loves to hate - a job.

The belief that a purpose can lift us out of our drudgery and elevate our life to epitaph standards is slightly misplaced. It has perpetuated a story which is held as gospel by a surprising number of people.

The story goes like this:

Our purpose in life is like a box of chocolates.

We are destined to find this box as we meander down the path of our life. It has a sign with our name on it and it will invite us at the right time to be its rightful custodian.

And once we deservedly claim it, our own life as well as those we touch will be transformed, or sweetened by the gift of purpose which is now, ours.

But it doesn’t quite work like that.

Of course, it is not to suggest that it is not possible. We may actually find something we can devote the rest of our life to with a single-minded focus. We may find it earlier than we think - later today when we are in the middle of a meeting, perhaps.

Equally, we may not, and there is no way to tell when we'll find ourselves at that crossroad where we instinctively know which road to take (and which one to leave). Still, a large number of people who believe this or a similar version of this fable are left disillusioned as the promised box of chocolates is nowhere to be found, regardless of their well-intentioned efforts.

The Eagles declared this so candidly in their rollicking take on the post-modern world, aptly called “Life in the fast lane” as Don Henley cried,

We’ve been up and down this highway Haven’t seen a goddamn thing.

We probably won’t either.

However, that doesn't mean we become random, rudderless creatures of habit. We could still work with something within our grasp.

The truth is, it’s probably a more practical idea to have a sense of purpose, rather than look for ‘A big purpose.’

What does that mean? Having a sense of purpose means leading our everyday, mundane lives with an intention to make a difference to those we care about, by paying a little more attention to what’s happening around us.

When our attention peaks, we find ways to meaningfully contribute to people who mean something to us.

We do this not necessarily through miracles or transformational products, but simple actions that are significant; not for us, but for the people we’re doing this for.

So, in reality, the purpose path might pan out like this (taking the same box analogy forward).

With a little more curiosity, we can see possibility in any ‘box’ we encounter. We could then decide to pick it up, choose what we want to put into it - chocolates, hair colour, money, our writing - whatever it is that our unique talents and gifts afford us.

We then choose who we want to take it to, so that it can make a meaningful impact for them. As we find more meaning in this action, we do more of it.

Little by little.

Day by day.

Staying present helps us listen, understand and adapt our actions. And the loop organically grows and at some stage, we may even be called to do something ‘big.’

We don’t have to change The World.

We don’t have to quit that job.

We don’t have to float another startup.

We only need to care enough to change Our world.

Our world could be just one person other than us, our family, our community or a billion people. That is entirely our decision to make and a position that needs no explanation.

Yes, we do need to start with why.

But it’s not the one big WHY we ask once in our life when we are in a retreat in Bali, contemplating the purpose of our life (although that’s never a bad idea)

Instead, it’s a little ‘why’ that we can befriend and include as part of our toolkit. A handy, everyday tool which could become as familiar and reliable as our toothbrush, and giving us a reason to smile everyday.

We smile when we are able to do something that mattered to someone that matters.

That perhaps is what we can call a truly purpose-driven life.